What Keeps a Middle Aged Man Practicing His Martial Art?

I started taekwondo when I was forty years old. I am now 45 and still practicing—and this even though I got my blackbelt. Even though I live in a small town with the dojang I attend being the only martial arts school around, I have seen many would-be students start and then quit. I have even seen several who put in the time and effort to obtain their black belt quit practicing. After having seen all this quitting, I have to ask myself, why do I continue?

I understand that five years in the martial arts isn’t very long, but as an adult who has achieved the most common goal—that of earning a black belt—and having no other clear goal continuing on is something of a wonder to myself. I’ve been thinking about what would seem to me to be the most typical reasons a grown man would continue in the martial arts. These are listed below.

Self-defense—Unarmed self-defense is a good thing for anyone to know. Most everyone would agree with this. Even so, most don’t practice any form of it. While it is good that I practice self-defense I have never been in a physical altercation in my life and my daily habits rarely take me into situations where I could reasonably foresee a situation where practicing self-defense would save my life. Fear of physical altercation is not what keeps me practicing self-defense.

Competition—Although my dojang is closely associated with Olympic Style taekwondo schools and with people who have Olympic aspirations, at forty-five I am far past the age where I can reasonably dream of making the Olympic team. There are other, less lofty, competitions, but the over-forty competitive ranks are thin and in my opinion competing in those ranks would be rather meaningless. I do like to spar in the Olympic Style because it is challenging and fun, but competing in official competitions just isn’t important to me. Competition does not keep me practicing taekwondo.

Teaching—I would love to gain the experience and right to open my own school and teach. I have the highest respect for outstanding teachers in any field, not just martial arts. The idea of becoming an outstanding martial arts teacher is very appealing to me, but in my current situation it is not a viable option. I have eight children. The youngest is just one years old. These children need food, shelter, and insurance. I live in an unpopulated, rural area that can barely support the school that I attend. Opening a martial arts school is a very risky venture on any level, but gambling the welfare of my family on the success of a school would be a bad gamble. This is especially so since there is not room for another school where I live and I don’t want to move. I do have the opportunity to teach within the school I attend, but due to my job and the long distance I commute I can only get in one or two hours a week. Becoming a great martial arts teacher is still a dream, but not one I can yet find a way to realize and is not what keeps me practicing taekwondo.

Delusions—Quite often I have seen middle aged men and women at various martial arts events who appear, well . . . strange. They strike me as living some sort of Bruce Lee dream. It is okay for the young to pursue the arts and it is okay for the old to teach and mentor, but when the older appear to be in pursuit of the martial arts it comes across like the forty-five year old man with the comb-over in the Porsche. It hurts me to admit this, but I know that I came across this way as I worked my way through the colored belts. I was super enthusiastic and devoted to my martial art. In the dojang I scurried about just like one of the young children—I was the same as them, just thirty-eight years older. As I look back, some of the enthusiastic memories make me shake my head a little in embarrassment, but even so I make no apologies. Although I still love taekwondo, the naïve notions that supported my over-enthusiastic behavior are gone now and I see only the hard work that lies ahead to maintain the skills and knowledge I have obtained. Dreams of becoming a super action hero are not what keep me practicing taekwondo.

Why?—Now that I have pushed aside the most assumable reasons of why I, a middle-aged man, keeps practicing taekwondo I want to look at some of the less assumable, but more accurate, reasons that keep me practicing.

Family—I have several children who practice taekwondo. I have never been able to sit back and watch my children do anything. I can never resist the temptation to join in with them. Whether it is juggling, chess, parties, computer games, or what not I want to do these things with my children and not just watch them. It was watching my children in the dojang soon after my wife enrolled them that got me interested in taekwondo in the first place. Now we all practice taekwondo together. Taekwondo is a family thing. As long as it promotes a healthy family lifestyle I have a reason to practice taekwondo.

Health—I am in so much better heath today than I was before I started taekwondo. My endurance, flexibility, and general strength are much greater. I have shed many an extra pound. Although practicing taekwondo doesn’t give me all the exercise I need, it gives me the motivation to engage in a personal exercise regime that includes many activities that increase my health. It is true that I could lead a healthy lifestyle without taekwondo, but I can find no other activity that engages my imagination like taekwondo does. As long as I feel it is increasing my health and quality of life I will keep practicing taekwondo.

Friends—Beehive Martial Arts has become a second family to me. I like the people I work out with. More than like them, I care about them. My association with my instructor, his family, and the other students adult and young alike enrich my life. As long as I get this enrichment I will keep practicing taekwondo.

Happiness—Taekwondo workouts make me happy. Other exercises do not. I ride bike. I lift weights. I run. I swim. But although these are good for me and I am glad I do them, they do not make me happy like a taekwondo workout does. A taekwondo workout includes much more than just exercise. There is the military structure of being pushed by an instructor mixed with acts of respect and honor. There is the wide range of physical activities that include forms, techniques, calisthenics, sparring, not to mention more creative activities. There is the camaraderie of fellow students cheering each other on as we work through things that are difficult for us. All of this put together brings a happiness to my heart and I leave after each workout with a smile on my face and a feeling of health and life. As long as it brings me happiness I will continue practicing taekwondo.

As mentioned at the beginning I have been practicing taekwondo for only six years. This is just a short period of time. The things I have said will have much more weight if I am still practicing taekwondo in another six years. I sincerely hope I will be because I cannot imagine my life being better if I am not. There are many things that could happen that could get in the way. I could be injured. The school I attend could close (and there are no others around). The school could change hands and I might not get along with the new owners. The list could go on and on. I know that ideally the martial art needs to be in my heart and that I can practice taekwondo on my own, but realistically I know that without a dojang to encourage me, my ability to seriously keep practicing taekwondo will be substantially curtailed. In the future, my reasons for practicing taekwondo may change. But for now, the above reasons are carrying me onward and making my life a more wonderful experience.