I take tournaments pretty seriously because I have seen what can happen in a tournament to someone who hasn’t prepared properly. I enlisted my sixteen year old son to train me. We started riding bike into Nephi and back (20 miles on a hilly, gravel road) on Saturday mornings and I would ride a shorter circuit during the week. I wanted to get my endurance up. There is nothing worse than running out of steam during a match. My son drilled me in techniques and we did a little sparring to try to sharpen up my timing. Focused workouts for a tournament are fun. That is the main reason I signed up. Preparing for a tournament brings some direction to day-to-day martial arts and gives it purpose.
I heard that there were two men in my age group who would be there. I often wondered who they were and how good they were. I even had the remote idea that maybe, if I worked hard, I could win my division. That is a bold idea for a mediocre athlete like myself.
It was the night before the tournament, when I attended a referee training seminar, that I found out that my nightmare was occurring. There were no other men my age in the tournament. They had me in a division of three all right, but the other two were 25 and 19 years old. I didn’t like this at all. The act of signing up for a TKD tournament is a signal that you think you are good enough to compete. Every once in a while you will see some poor soul get on the mat thinking he is good enough, but who gets the snot beat out of him because he was no where near good enough. It bothered me that they put me in a pool with the young fellows because it would look like I thought I could compete with them which in turn would make me look like a fool when they beat the snot out of me. Getting the snot beat out of me wouldn’t bother me as badly as looking like a fool.
I suppose I had the option of withdrawing from the competition, but it wasn’t a very appealing option because the organizers, who I know, and my own instructor, thought that there should be no problem. I might not win, but I would be okay. Withdrawing would really lower my status with them. Still, I would have withdrawn except that I knew one of the opponents in my division and thought that I just might be able to survive with a little dignity. I thought this because I had sparred with him before in a non-tournament setting and he was over 300 pounds and not very mobile, although still strong and dangerous. I figured I could just have a strategy of staying away from him for most of the match. Then I learned that he had dropped down to 275 pounds. This would make him much more mobile. Well, being one who is loathe to quit, I stayed in the competition anyway.
The next day, after I arrived at the tournament, I immediately saw who I assumed would be my opponent across the room. Even with his weight-loss he was big and looked mobile. I wasn’t feeling very good about my decision to stay in at this point. Ryan was 275 pound, 6’3”, and 25 years old. This made him 50 pounds heavier, 2 inches taller, and 20 years younger than me. I can’t believe the others thought I should get in the ring with this guy. Actually I do understand why. TaraLyn is 41 and she competes a lot. Not only this, but when she competes she competes down because she is so much better than the others her age. James is only 26 and he is a world class competitor who believes that everyone should compete no matter what. Kevin is my age and a big fellow. He grew up fighting and loves it. It was these three who were encouraging me. What they don’t seem to understand is that I don’t have any of the talents that they have. Mix that with my age and you get a questionable competitor who probably shouldn’t be in the ring with some big fellow 20 years younger than himself.
But I went ahead with it. Actually the first thing I competed in was Forms. I only had one opponent there and I did better than him. I took the gold. It was about 11:00 am when my division started sparring. Because I was the old man they gave me the bye. That was a good thing. Ryan, the 25 year old took on the 19 year old (I’m guessing at his age). I don’t think these two liked each other because they really went at it. I was especially aware of Ryan gunning for the younger fellow. The younger fellow was quick and had a good reach, but in the end Ryan just over-powered him and beat him pretty good even though the score was just a few points difference.
There was a match between Ryan’s and my fight and I took that time to think about my goals for the fight. I wanted to win, of course, but that just didn’t seem likely. I came up with four goals: 1. Show no fear. 2. Fight with dignity (show no frustration, don’t leave the ring, don’t mentally or physically give up, etc). 3. Fight smarter. 4. Get at least four points.
Goal number 3 was a big one for me. I have a way of being a kicking bag on the mat. Being a kicking bag for a 275 pound 25 year old isn’t a good idea. My coach told me to stay too far away, or stay too close for him to kick me. This is a basic idea, of course, but I have never done it very well. This time I was going to concentrate on that.
For me, when it comes time to walk out on the mat and face your opponent existence turns into an alternate reality. It felt the same this time. The referee said, “Begin” and we went at each other. I’m not going to give you a blow-by-blow, but I felt I achieved goal number 3. I went with him when he pushed off for a kick and did my best to stay out of range. Still, he clobbered me pretty good with really powerful round houses. When Ryan does land a round house you can’t seem to move in or out because you are just trying to stay on your feet and protect your ribs. And then Ryan can do fast repeat kicks. He scored a few clean shots, which shook my world, but most scores were through my arms. Poor arms. He did not get my head, a fact I am proud of and for which my head is thankful. Out of the three goals I missed only one. I was only able to score two points to his nine. Clearly there is something I have to work on.
Even losing like that I felt euphoric coming off the mat. I had fought the big, young, guy and come out okay. I had taken a beating, and yet was in enough control to feel good about it (if that is really possible). I am pretty certain it would have been worse on me if Ryan hadn’t worked so hard in his first match, but still, in the pictures of my fight, I see that Ryan was giving it all he had. The look on his face was pure, focused business—a little scary—although after the match he was as nice as could be.
So where do I stand now? For some reason I feel like I want to make a focused effort to increase my sparring skill. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it is just a challenge to meet. There is really no where for a 45 year old to go in competition. Perhaps it is just a personal thing. I need to find out if I can get better and, if so, gain some experience and pleasure from it. If I can’t get any better, the trying will still be good for me.
